A guide to dealing with a client who is grieving

by on 14·12·2021

It may seem obvious, but the empathy shown to a mourning spouse, partner, family can be worth more than most financial advisers/planners are aware.

Kind words of sympathy are a given, but the true test of an adviser’s mettle and client duty of care becomes apparent in the actions after the initial notification of death.

Most people mourning the loss of a loved one are in no fit state to deal with any of the administration that death prompts. Everyone deals with grief in different ways from deep loss, to anger, to depression, to denial, to survivor guilt, but either way, trying to remember who to contact when, where and how all becomes a bit of a blur.  The funeral director can do so much with dealing with the necessary immediate needs but not so much the financial aftermath, and this is where a quality adviser/planner can assist the family in minimising the stress of sorting things out.

Last year, I experienced a bereavement of a close family member, and despite my financial services background and administration skills, when it came to dealing with their financial affairs, I can honestly say that my brain was soup for a considerable period after the death.  Even dealing with basic instructions felt like swimming in treacle, and each time a reference to the deceased came up, further waves of grief would overpower me! Therefore, for those without any financial knowledge, the prospect of dealing with insurance companies, banks, investments, pensions etc. must be incredibly daunting and overwhelming.

Our situation was greatly aided by the deceased’s Financial Planner who helped sort out some of the paperwork such as providing date-of-death valuations of their investments for probate; the necessary forms to complete for the transfer of assets (ensuring that things like the inherited ISA allowance were not missed); regular updates and communication regarding the processes and ensuring that the relevant providers were chased regularly; to the final stages of helping with the distribution of assets to the beneficiaries as per the Will as well as assisting the Solicitor with any of their requirements. This support and regular contact provided a great relief and comfort to our family as well as the reassurance that the affairs were being dealt with swiftly and efficiently.  We will be forever indebted to them for their kindness and professionalism.

From an adviser’s perspective, successfully helping a client through the grieving process will help cement the longevity of your relationship with them as well as building up further trust and confidence.  Plus, it is never wrong to be kind!

On a more practical note, and without sounding too mercenary, this in turn can lead to the potential for further financial planning opportunities either directly or from succession planning to also assisting other members of the family who may have inherited.

As Amelia Earhart stated – “A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees.”

A few good hints and tips that may help with this process:

• Suggest that the person dealing with the deceased’s affairs gets more than 1 death certificate as several may need to be supplied to different providers. A good number is 4 or 5.  Easier to obtain multiple copies at the time of registration than at a later date.
• Assuming you have a copy of their Will - ensure this is to hand and if necessary, make certified copies.
• Inform the various providers of the circumstances and ask for date-of-death valuations for any plans they may have.
• Obtain and prepare any death claim forms required.
• Investigate the post death procedures for the various plan providers.
• Check if the deceased had an ISA of which the value could be inherited.
• Check the nominations on any pensions.
• Check any final salary schemes the deceased may have had which provides benefits on death such as a spouse’s pension or lump sum payments.
• Check if they had any Trusts in place.
• Check if they are eligible for any financial bereavement support.

Selection of useful websites:

• What to do after someone dies: Tell Us Once - GOV.UK (www.gov.uk)
• Bereavement Advice Centre | Free Helpline | Freephone 0800 634 9494
• Cruse Bereavement Care |